Today is my mum's birthday. Called her during my lunch time break just to say "Happy Birthday Mummy" was real great. So lucky to have my family in a great happy and loving piece. For sure, I do get a chance to ask daddy to be on the phone by waking him up from a short nap and to greet him "Happy Belated Birthday Daddy!" as it was 2 days late for his birthday. DaD's on 8th while MuM's at 10th. Wasn't that great arrangement of God's?
From today's phone call conversation, at least finally I felt relief by sharing all my thoughts n thinking about my needs and wants and everything they have to know about my situation here in UK.
The one special and different thing of today's conversastion is telling my Dad how important he is to me and I love him and I miss him. Most of the time would be easier for me to say all these stuff to my mum. Maybe I'm more on Mummy's girl instead of Daddy's girl. Time for some change and time for some balance. Haha...
For me, trusting in guy wasn't easy at all. Therefore, I'm glad that the guy in my family got such a high trustworthiness to convince me there are still good guys in this world. Now, I do see that this is the thorn which I have to deal with coz this is not healthy anymore.
Once, there is a friend that ... that is so... special and nice. We both sure we are not mean to be. Been few months since I last heard of him. Few days ago, my mobile rang while I was away. When I discover of the misscall, what a surprise!!! He called twice... Out of sudden, not sure what response or action should I take. Give a text back saying sorry I had missed your called, or give a miscall back to response "Hey, I got your missed call." Well, lastly I decided to just ignore and treat as nothing had happened.
Yesterday after work and after my 1st dinner at Tai Pan with a friend who picked me up at Huyton and also after I reach my home and after I enter my room, my mobile is ringing again. His contact appear on the screen. Before answering, I make myself to act normal and pretend that there is no awkward feeling. Short talk again with the same familiar and close while at the same time, strange and weird voice.
Warm felt caring, but sorry and thank you. Sorry for can't get along for longer. Sorry for not able to meet you up. Sorry for not able to repay you the nice being of you. Sorry for saying something that does not even a promise. Thanks for lending me your shoulder when I needed it the most.Although I still need it... As for sometimes, I still not tough enough as I appear to be. Emotional tears never be in my control. When it burst, it just burst till it dries. Thanks for being my personal doctor and although it doesn't really cured by you. Thanks for being strict with me so that I get punished when I did something wrong. Thanks for being honest with me in order for me to know my bad and good. Thanks for loving me so that I know I still worth to be loved in stead of becoming a worthless person. Last but not least, thanks for saying I deserve a better one instead of making myself so foolish.
Prayer of the day: Dear Lord, help me and guide me to leave my bad alone.
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